Yawn. Tell me another.

AQUARIUS

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 (Tomorrow)

Your intuition finally comes to logical conclusions about your romantic situation. It may have taken you a while to get all of the hints, but it shouldn't take you more than a few hours to catch up. Desire drives your motives today.

Carnival come back again! - Iwer

Yeah I miss home. I go read Trinidad Express and they are talking about Kiddies carnival. And I miss everything: the costume, wining with your friends for the whole day in the band, how if you were under 12 it was taboo and embarassing when a guy that liked you in primary school jumped in de band and tried to grind on you, the way the glitter was all over my body and you and your close friends would do the identical glitter design on each others face, how we could tramp for miles and miles as long as the music was playing and the adult with our money kept the snow cones and suck-a-bags coming. I loved the feeling of going on the stage and displaying your costume after waiting for hours in the morning while the entire band assembled and dressed as the morning went from cool sunrise to blazing hot midday sun. When I got older of course you felt you were too big to play mas and too self consious to tramp about in town in basically a bra and panties b/c boys are actually checking for you now. So your carnival schedule changes and carnival begins with the Queen show the Friday night where you profile and basically never end up watching to the show unless a friend of yours is participating. Then J'ourvet where you get away with wearing the skettiest or oldest pair of short shorts you have and a top cut in all the right places...you may play with a J'ourvet band and get totally covered with paint, power or both, or you could just go down to town right after a friend's Dimache-Gras lime and literally party till the sun came up on your dutty condition and then some. When you got older, comfortable with your body, and had the company of the friends in your dance troupe you start back playing mas and after leaving J'ourvet at maybe 12 midday you rush home to bathe eat and catch an hr sleep to be back in town for 2pm when the band assembles. Lawlessness all day, wining not too much drinking cuz you already working with the J'ourvet hangover and with the dancing in the sun you don't need another reason to be dehydrated. You hear your favorite songs as much as you want to hear it. De big truck fuh de band is like yuh own personal dj making you feel good. No Coldplay today as much as you love them....no depressing reflective music its all about now....celebrating that you your smile your body your nationality is on display and you are not ashamed or shy as you usually are and you are "relaxed". Amazing this is what carnival does for me. Yeah its a big lime but you are with friends alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll day and even the most annoying one is never annoying. So after the mas get home around 8 bathe shower eat, back into down by10/11pm to party. Party till morning. Repeat above and go out for mas and today is more important. Today you need to wear your full costume cuz its judging day and its not totally about you its about your band so energy energy energy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After mas back home and the cycle again. Back into town and the coutdown begins b/c at 12 midnight sharp the revelry ends. So although you resolved that you're gonna look non shiny and cute in your outfit you end up sweating like ah sket at a gangbang and when Machel and Iwer say on de ground you never realize when you ended up hands on the asphalt wining wit ah snakeoil waist. (Yeah de wantoness of your friends gives you courage LOL) Twelve come and the police shut down the music and you go home to switch on the radio and realize that the "soca switch" done and they playing Brandy's - Have you ever on the radio. WTF?!? what happen to de wutliss lyrics that was playing in my head since Christmas. Now the true debate starts should I go to school the next day as a badge of honor has a survivor of Carnival that has the strengh replete with leftover glitter on my face, chest, arms ....it never goes away easy ppl. PPl who work generally dont go to work and go chill on the beach next day. As a school chile u mad I try to do that?!! Then the recollections start. who wine wit who (mind you they never spoke or acknowlege each others presence but you made a new friend) whose band won de mas competion, who got drunk, what ppl wore for J'ourvet (diapers, men in bras wig and lingerie/ girls in cat suits and impossible pum pum pummie shorts lol) Who end up getting horn (bun) in public cuz when u need to wine you need a good partner so many guys and girls end up holdin de wall while their SO literally wears out the cloth covering another girl's ass. Girls who realize from if they met their man in the party with someone else (whose outfit he paid for) that they were actually the side chick and not the main squeeze like they thought. Ahhh memories And its worse cuz I went home for xmas so I know the songs and I felt the vibe. Dont stop giving it to me.......................................

I've never had that trimuvirate of friends that special circle that just knows every last detail about you, what hurts you. I guess its not in my personality but its a little disheartening the few times you go out to see it on display all around you, or to surf a website and see everyone cheezing with their bestest of friends that got them thru the rough times. I think its a single parent trait that was passed down to me...never let them see you sweat, so much so that many of my close female friends have never even realized when I was going through a rough time.
What brought this on? Of course it was a movie Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants. All this sappy nonsense I need to find me a lil white boy to go out with. Gabe watchout!

Omigosh why am I watching this slavery recollection thing on HBO with ppl like Don Cheadle, Angela Basset and Oprah voicing slave recollections( yeah I know its been out a while). It reminds me of the 1st time I really hated white ppl in general. It wasnt the individual it was the whole race. I don't usually hate anyone and intellectually I know what's right and I don't really hate whites now (they aren't their ancestors or are they***) It's just....

How could anyone be soooo cruel. (and don't say shit about Africans selling each other into slavery) So when I first hated white people I think it was because I watched the movie Panther. I actually cried. I thought I knew about slavery just because I was black, yeah they were enslaved and not paid and treated badly. I visited the sugar mills ecetera ecetera. But as a 9 yr old did I really get it? Hell no!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think what also did me in about Panther is not realizing that after slavery there were Jim Crow laws then into the whole Civil Rights movement.
Naively I thought slavery is abolished, enslaved people were free. I don't like to call my ancestors slaves because no one is born a slave, no one is born with that mentality. It was bred into them, they were taught to be slaves - they were ENslaved. I don't think I would do very well as a slave. There is this book (will find out the name) where the author is basically transported back in time to slavery days and as a 21st century woman she tries to endure it to ensure that in the future her family line lives. I don't think she makes it....(I'll check the facts) But I KNOW I would not be able to make it I would be too insolent too headstrong. But then again I would be taught how to be a slave: how to be docile, keep your head down and work hard, how to be deceitful (because I wouldnt actually love and agree with massa), and most of all how to endure suffering. I think I would have tried to run away. I hope I would have had the courage.

When I hear slave recollections what I notice most is the violence and the psychology of fear that they used to keep people enslaved and I wonder "why don't white people beat their kids?" Yes I am making a sweeping generalization and ppl of both races beat blah blah blah. But seriously a disparate number of whites decide that beatings are not a method of punishment for their kids. Is it that they're afraid they're gonna be treating their kids like niggers/ slaves. Aren't they the ones that introduced Blacks to the Bible and the verse "spare the rod and spoil the child". They never followed that. Black people sometimes think hey a lil slap now and then is necessary to keep their kid in line. And is it what we believe, what we've been taught, or what has work via trail and error parenting?
niggers
All through the "documentary" thats what they referred to each other as...the massas called them that and thats how they referred to each other. Kinda like now. I don't say Nigger but I'm not gonna knock somebody, judge them or act as if they're setting Black people back 200 yrs by using it. It doesn't apply to me and rolls off my back.

I'm (was) a dancer and we did all types of dance but I know slave dances, how the costumes look. I called them costumes because I was playing a role but then I realized this was someone's real life - this is their history this is what they wore then. Its like you are a historian. We integrated to games they (children) played into the routine as a segue between 2 different dance types. It was fun. I thought of it that these were dances that free slaves did - not anything they had to hide to do. Yeah I know I lie to myself ;)
*** Back to above I see myself as a product of my ancestors - of the past. What about white people? Given their legacy how do they reconcile that to themselves. Also given power over someone, (the psychology experiments with the jolt of electricity, or even the one where students were guards in a faux prison) every human has the potential to abuse it. How many think that slavery day can come back? Someone may be rolling their eyes saying it never left, but I'm talking about explicit slavery.

Well I'm done. I don't hate white people my mother is white. LOL I'm joking but seriously though no problems mon! I just have a wandering mind.
Hmmm of course now I'm wondering if being an atheist is so bad I mean who was the one that told us about that white Jesus. And I do have recollections of going to confirmation classes and getting shut down about the "is Jesus black? " debate with my white, English, left ear pierced and ponytailed priest. Can you believe it? A hippy priest STILL arguing that Jesus could never be Black. He didn't even acknowledge the possiblity. Ok I'll stop here.

The person I'd most like to meet? Yeah Mandela would be nice but I would like to meet...............................................................................Me 12 years ago. And I am sooooo serious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is me

Ok first off let me say I am not a slave to it. I like knowledge so I like to read about the zodiac signs, mostly my own. Information about the others usually runs through my brain like a sieve because there are too many and I'm selfish (that was a joke) so here it goes. Courtesy www.greatdreams.com

The Aquarius Female (Jan 20th - Feb 18th)
You have high standards and you insist on being treated with respect.There is no way you will compromise. You are sensitive, intellectual and you like parties and people.You are honest, direct and will bare your soul to those you care about. You are a very giving person, always willing to offer advice to those in trouble, You are quite capable of doing a man's job and seldom pick your mate based on what he can do for you. You love to travel and must feel independent in your existence. You do require a great deal of love and companionship, however it must be on your terms. You are not that eager to marry and you seek intellectual stimulation foremost.

Ok now I have checked this so many times and its still depressing. I am compatible with nearly none of the other signs. Where is my damn love match. I think on my next try I'm gonna look for another Aquarian. Let the fireworks begin.

Who's the Lucky Love Slave ? ......

AQUARIUS & ARIES (March 21 - April 19): Excellent match. You both enjoy a variety of entertainment.
AQUARIUS & TAURUS (April 20 - May 20): Concessions necessary for both of you, to be successful
AQUARIUS & GEMINI (May 21 - June 20): Not always smooth but certainly an exciting connection.
AQUARIUS & CANCER (June 21 - July 22): You are far too aloof for the insecure Crab. (Lord could I have known this before? They have the guilt tripping thing down cold! I avoid them like the plague.)
AQUARIUS & LEO (July 23 - August 22): Plenty of chemistry, but the Lion is physical, you're intellectual.
AQUARIUS & VIRGO (August 23 - September 22): Virgo's are not social enough to hold your interest.
AQUARIUS & LIBRA (September 23 - October 22): Exciting, fun loving and carefree connection. (For me, they really do make the BESTEST of friends)
AQUARIUS & SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21): Not the best coalition. You're both fixed in your beliefs.
AQUARIUS & SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21): A wonderful affair, two ships that pass in the night. (Yeah that one was a really great boyfriend, no complaints it was all MY fault)
AQUARIUS & CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19): Not good. You both have totally different goals in life. (Somewhat, kinda, ummmmmmm verrry accurate! This does not look good for the new mini-crush)
AQUARIUS & AQUARIUS: An inventive coalition, but lacking in the sexual arena.
AQUARIUS & PISCES (February 19 - March 20): Emotional blackmail verses imaginative mind games. (Truer words have never been spoken!!!! But I'm always smarter Hahha)

As you can guess I am bored :-(

Fukkin Hi5 :- )

Yeah oh a new friend request sent to my inbox. Hmmm name is familiar but there are lots of guys with that name plus I don't know your last name. Yah I had a big enough crush on you but I'm not obsessive. So I click on the links yada yada and my heart is actually beating a lil faster as your profile opens and I see your pic and realize it really is you. You only have 20 friends tho' how did you find me so fast. I could find 20 friends to send request to, people I actually speak to on a daily to weekly basis, not someone I never even had a phone convo with. This is strange....did you have a crush on me too? Hmmmm I guess somehow you noticed me and simultaneously didn't let me realize you did. Ok I'm not going to name our kids now because of this it was just a cute surprise. ***Click >>> "New Friend Added" ****Right click and save those pics of you in your gallery, and I hope you did the same for me ;)

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